May 17th marked the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, a date that draws attention to respect for the diversity of sexual orientations and to the defense of LGBTI+ rights. Portugal, often cited as one of Europe's most progressive countries on these issues since legalising same-sex marriage in 2010 and gender self-determination in 2018, sits squarely inside the conversation: a new international survey suggests that what women here, and across the continent, fantasise about behind closed doors is more fluid than the labels they wear in public.
In a context where inequalities, prejudice and discrimination against those who deviate from the "norm" of heterosexuality persist, an international survey by the non-monogamous dating app Gleeden reveals that the majority of women registered on the platform (71%) have or have had sexual fantasies about other women, although they do not identify as lesbians, highlighting a dissociation between sexual identity and desire.
Specifically, 57% of heterosexual women surveyed admit to having had fantasies about other women, while 14% say that these fantasies are frequent.
In fact, 88% of the women surveyed in this study are married to men. In addition, the majority identify as heterosexual (56%) and 44% as bisexual. Regarding this aspect, sexologist Flávia dos Santos, international ambassador for Gleeden, explains that "we don't come into the world with a biological pre-determination regarding orientation," and "it can happen that, at a certain point in life, a person feels heterosexual, and at another point in life feels homosexual, and at yet another, bisexual. Other people will have a more defined sexual orientation."
Therefore, the sexologist concludes that "being human is a journey. A journey of construction and deconstruction. So sexual orientation is very much what shows us how we are bisexual from birth, and we build our desire, our fantasies, our gratifications throughout life. This will be greatly impacted by knowledge, curiosity, and the moment in life we are in."
Curiosity about the same sex, yes, but little action
As a non-monogamous dating platform, Gleeden is present in 150 countries, including Portugal, and conducts regular studies to better understand user behaviour and the extent of new forms of socio-affective relationships in different countries. In particular, it focuses on female users, as its mission is to provide women with a safe space to experience their intimacy freely, discreetly, and without judgment.
In this context, the most recent study reveals that, although fantasy and curiosity about a relationship with someone of the same sex exist, the actualisation of experiences remains residual. Specifically, only 14% say they clearly feel a desire to have a physical experience with another woman, while 43% admit to occasional curiosity, and another 43% say they have no interest.
Among the main factors that could encourage this step are emotional connection, physical curiosity, and breaking the routine, although 57% of respondents say that none of these factors would be sufficient.
Regarding barriers, the main obstacle identified is not social judgment or guilt, but rather the lack of references or knowledge of how to act in this type of interaction (29%), pointing to a practical and cultural dimension that is still little explored, even in countries like Portugal where the legal and social framework is comparatively open.
On the other hand, the Gleeden study also reveals that 75% of users resort to the platform to explore a facet of their sexuality that they cannot express in their main relationship.
As a brand ambassador, sexologist Flávia dos Santos emphasises that "Gleeden is here to show that we, women, can also pursue our desires." And she adds that "it is very interesting to be a partner and ambassador for Gleeden because it gives women that freedom and autonomy. And it says: yes, you can live your pleasure, you own your body and you don't have to constantly feel guilty."
